My Completely True Excuse

This is my completely true excuse as to why I showed up 27 minutes late to Mrs. Rasmussen's 3rd period PAP Creative Writing Class.

I was on my way to class whenever I felt my cellular device vibrating. Trying my hardest to resist the urge to check my phone, I got a nervous feeling. Like every teenager should, I resisted the urge for as long as possible. But after the second and the third ring, I just had to answer it. It was a call from a neighbor of mine. He had sent me multiple text messages saying that there had been some suspicious activity going on in my house. After calling and calling my parental units with no answer, I decided to play the hero. I raced across town to my house. I slowly opened the door and, just as I thought, there was a pack of lions and a sloth gathered at my sink, as if it were a watering hole. I then became afraid. I had no clue what to do. I then grabbed my whip that I hide in my pantry in case of emergencies, like this one.  I made the executive decision to keep the sloth. I whipped my whip until the lions became afraid of me. I opened the front door and guided the lions to the frame. But they would go. I then remembered that our family had planned to eat steak the night before, but had changed to cereal. I grabbed the steaks and threw them into my front yard. This lured the lions into my trap. I then picked them up one by one and put them in the choker hold. This would keep them asleep for only a little bit of time. I rushed them to the local zoo and dropped them off at the front gate, as a stork would a child. Relieved, I rushed back to school in hopes that I had not missed the daily lesson. My speed was faster than a racecar. I rushed to the second floor, not a drop of sweat on me. I then began my lesson as if nothing had even happened. After class, Mrs. Rasmussen caught me before I left and asked me why I was so late. I explained to her the story in depth.